But every year, December 16 hits me like a ton of bricks.
I mean it's not far from my head on any given day or maybe I should say from my heart. But December 16 is always hard because it's the day that doctors told me that Kaitlyn didn't have a heart beat.
Who knows who Kaitlyn would have turned out to be? If Alexis and Jessica are any indication, she'd be a happy awesome kid. But she would have also had Cornelia de Lange and been challenged by medical complications like Alexis and Jessica. We would have loved her so much and truly it's heartbreaking to lose a child. It's more common to hear about miscarriages - so I am glad that mom's can unite for supporting each other. But usually if one twin survives, that both have been born and then one doesn't manage the neonate period. But for one to die in utero and the other to be born 8 weeks later, I've yet to meet another Mom. For that, Alexis and I have a special "toughness" bond that we know what we are made of - we know that no matter what the world puts in front of us, we will power through. We will make it through and thankfully Jessica has the same spunk and is learning my advocacy / pain in the ass skills.
We are all good - as good as we can be when I broke my foot on 11/30 and then rebroke it / reinjured it on 12/14. So I'm pretty much barely able to manage myself. I will call again tomorrow to my shoulder surgeon practice (they have a foot surgeon) and determine if it needs surgery.
Much love to the world,
Catherine
I mean it's not far from my head on any given day or maybe I should say from my heart. But December 16 is always hard because it's the day that doctors told me that Kaitlyn didn't have a heart beat.
Who knows who Kaitlyn would have turned out to be? If Alexis and Jessica are any indication, she'd be a happy awesome kid. But she would have also had Cornelia de Lange and been challenged by medical complications like Alexis and Jessica. We would have loved her so much and truly it's heartbreaking to lose a child. It's more common to hear about miscarriages - so I am glad that mom's can unite for supporting each other. But usually if one twin survives, that both have been born and then one doesn't manage the neonate period. But for one to die in utero and the other to be born 8 weeks later, I've yet to meet another Mom. For that, Alexis and I have a special "toughness" bond that we know what we are made of - we know that no matter what the world puts in front of us, we will power through. We will make it through and thankfully Jessica has the same spunk and is learning my advocacy / pain in the ass skills.
We are all good - as good as we can be when I broke my foot on 11/30 and then rebroke it / reinjured it on 12/14. So I'm pretty much barely able to manage myself. I will call again tomorrow to my shoulder surgeon practice (they have a foot surgeon) and determine if it needs surgery.
Much love to the world,
Catherine
